The Fool

img001

From the “Daniloff Tarot” (Third Edition, 2016) by Alexander Daniloff.

It is not so easy to be a Fool, you know. It took me a lifetime to fine tune the skill. I had to learn to trust myself, and my instincts. I had to learn to be free. I had to believe that I had potential – that i could actually do all of the things that I dreamed of. Now that I have learned all of this, I know the shocking truth – that to maintain who I am, I have to hide my abilities from the world. I can only show small pieces at a time – then I need to pull back.

(c) March 2017 Bonnie Cehovet
Reproduction prohibited without written permission from the author.

Midnight Serenade

Image is that of The Lovers, from the “Margarete Petersen Tarot”.

Looking into the mirror she saw herself … as she was all those many years ago. Hopeful, filled with energy, ready to take on the world. Take on the world? She actually thought that she could create her own world … and for a while, she had. Then life took over. She put the mirror away, and lived the life that was presented to her. Everything was so clear, so “black and white”.

Then she started wanting her life back. Not to just live a life, because she was already doing that. She wanted to live her life, on her own terms.  The sharp, sharp scissors came out, and she started snipping things away. The collage that was her life started to change, to morph, to take on new form. Somehow, the mirror appeared in front of her again, as if by magic. She began to see new shapes in it, new hope.

Life began to get a bit scary, as new things opened up for her. She began to look at things, and people, in a new way. The light came back into her eyes … her backbone became straighter. The visions in her mind were swirling around with great urgency, urging her forward into the unknown. The voices became much clearer. Oh, yes, this particular mirror came equipped with images and voices.

With one last look at the mirror, with its antique gold frame, she calmly walked through the gateway that it was offering her, never to turn back.

(c) October 2011 Bonnie Cehovet

 

Freedom

The Sorceress

Note: I wrote this flash story to keep a promise to my friend, Anna Burroughs Cook. I chose to use the Sorceress, from the “Fairytale Tarot”, by Lisa Hunt, as inspiration. Thank you, ladies, for making this story possible!

She gives the appearance of walking on water – moving with the greatest of ease, through the barren trees and along the shore. She holds her shawl loosely around her shoulders, her long gown floating in the breeze. Her hair flows down her back, surrounded by an iridescent light. She carries with her a sense of serenity, of inner peace and inner knowing. Her head is turned slightly, looking out over the water.

She has been with me in my dreams for a very long time. Now she joins me on my morning walks, appearing out of nowhere, always just out of reach – moving through the trees, acting the part of a siren to lure me to the beach, to the water. I came here for the water, for the peace that it brings me, so this is no surprise. Yet, I hang back.

Her eyes see through me, through the façade that I present to the world. I feel like a skeleton in her presence … a shell of myself, a shell that has left behind memories, experiences, and pain. Yes, in her perception the pain is gone. She is wise beyond all words, and I need her wisdom. Yet, I cannot let go of the pain.

The world can be a treacherous place. Like her, he came into my life in a strange way. She sought me through dreams, he sought me through music. His music echo’s through my mind at all hours of the day and night – a haunting memory from my past. Then I knew the music, but not the person. Now – I am not sure that I know either one.

I thought that I was free. I left for a reason, and choose not to go back. I knew that nothing had changed, and that nothing good would come of it. It is difficult when good and bad are intertwined, so that the freedom to be who I am had to come from leaving. I have made peace with the issue, with that time, and with myself.

My life was planned out (in my mind), yet I was free to take the side roads that it offered. I knew they were side roads, I knew they would not take me away from my journey, from my purpose for any great length of time. Then the siren call of the music hit. All of a sudden I was remembering old times, good times from my youth. I was starting to remember the people that had populated those times, and the impact they had on my life. They came to visit me in my dreams, then they left, never intending to be intrusive.

So who is he to me – the man behind this music? Should I fear him? Is he only a messenger? If so, what is the message that I need to hear? Am I going to lose my freedom, or is he offering a new form of freedom? What is the wisdom in her eyes trying to tell me? What compassion lies there?

I walk along the water, with the Lady as a ghost-like companion. We come to a log on the beach, and I sit down. Like her, I turn my gaze out over the water. She hovers near me, and suddenly I am in her world. All of my cares are left behind me, and I am free to think and act as I wish. There are no deadlines, no phones ringing, no bills to pay.

What matters in this world is that I live the spirit within me, that I am in total alignment, and that the spark of spirit that is within me shines true. Here I have the freedom to smile, to help others, to enjoy the music, the colors, the scents and the sounds that surround me.

Her voice is a healing voice. She tells me that I have more time left on my earthbound journey, more things left to accomplish, more wisdom to share. She reminds me that I do not need to search for freedom in the physical realm – that it is already there. Any obstacles that I have experienced are ones that I put there, that I drew to me, so that I could become integrated and whole.

I drew the music to me, and I drew the music maker to me. The part that he plays in my life is up to me. He is not there to curtail my freedom, nor is he there to offer me freedom. He is there to help me integrate my past, as well as to open my eyes to the big dreams ahead of me.

It is up to me which dreams I choose to dream, which dreams I choose to follow. There are no more side roads, there is only the main path. This is my time, and I need to choose wisely. The Lady will walk with me, ever present in my dreams. My freedom, my independence – it has always been there. I just saw glimpses of it, but it was always there.

The Lady bids me farewell, and fades away. I look down – in my hand I am holding a gold locket. I slowly open the locket – on the left hand side is a picture of the Lady, on the right hand side is a picture of me. I can feel the energy shifting from one side to the other. Smiling, I close the locket and place it in my pocket.

© July 2010 Bonnie Cehovet